I just purchased a pregnancy test – actually I purchased two.
When I went into the pharmacy I had no idea where to find pregnancy tests. When I finally found the tests, I stood there shocked at all of the different tests I could buy and the range of prices for pregnancy tests. Friends have told me that the pregnancy tests from the dollar store work just as well but I decided that this first time I wanted to have the experience of going into the pharmacy to buy the test.
While searching for the perfect test a couple came up beside me and started discussing which condoms they should buy. Yes – pregnancy tests are located just beside the condoms. The whole situation felt so odd – the couple was trying to use something to prevent pregnancy while I was searching for a test that would hopefully tell me that I was pregnant.
When I went up to the cashier I thought she’d give me a smile or do some sort of price check on my pregnancy test. Isn’t that what happens in the movies? Instead, she just scanned the tests and asked me for $25.00.
It has taken everything in me over the past fourteen days not to purchase a pregnancy test because I am currently going through the dreaded two-week wait. The two-week wait is the time between my IUI (sperm inside the uterus) and my period.
For the past two weeks, I have felt everything from anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness, and pure joy. Basically, I’ve felt like I was on a rollercoaster watching my emotions from afar.
Sure I am going for blood work tomorrow to confirm whether or not I am pregnant but the thought of a nurse from Mount Sinai telling me whether or not the IUI was successful makes me too damn nervous. I want to feel like I am somewhat in control and won’t be as sad if the nurse calls and I already know (according to my pregnancy tests) that it didn’t work. My goal is to take the pregnancy test tomorrow morning just before I go for blood work.
Plus, my sweet sweet sister is meeting me at the fertility clinic tomorrow. By then, I will know my fate. After I get my blood test she has promised me an afternoon of drinking (if I am not pregnant) or a celebratory lunch (if I am pregnant).
So I’ve learned a lot over the past two weeks and I want to pass on that information to you. I’ve made A LOT of mistakes over the past two weeks and I can’t help but laugh at them.
Here are some of my favourite moments from the past two weeks:
- Morning Sickness
The day after my IUI I was feeling really sick to my stomach. Because I am so freakin’ silly, I googled “morning sickness” and believed that it could be possible that my pregnancy symptoms were already happening.
FACT: Morning sickness usually starts at week six.
2) The Perfect Announcement
I spent hours trying to craft the perfect pregnancy announcement. How would I tell the people that I love the most that I am expecting (if I am)?
It all started with Pinterest which quickly moved into Etsy. I have spent $100.00.
FACT: I write a freakin blog and post everything on Instagram. Anyone who has been following the blog/Instagram knows the exact date I am going for my blood tests. Plus, my family knows when I will know that I am pregnant. How the hell will this be a surprise?
Please also note that everything I ordered from Etsy did not show up in time. If I find out that I am pregnant tomorrow, I am screwed.
My brother-in-law was also kind enough to say that he will create a movie of me telling people. How exciting will this movie be? Everyone knows that is happening. If I hold up my phone, everyone will know what I am about to say. Why did I start a blog and Instagram again?
3) Physical Symptoms
Six days after my IUI, I thought I had a UTI (urinary tract infection). I googled “UTI after an IUI” and google told me that this was a symptom of pregnancy. I started crying because this could be a sign.
FACT: What in the actual hell? Google should not be used at any time.
4) Leading Other People Into Your Madness
Ten days after my IUI, I started spotting. I quickly messaged a friend who just had two kids. I asked her if she experienced spotting and she did with one of the kids. She said it was called “implantation bleeding” so I started thinking that I could be pregnant. I got her so worked up and excited that we were both trying to figure out if I should just do a pregnancy test on day 10.
FACT: Day 14 is the only acceptable day for a pregnancy test. It is best to leave everyone else out of your crazy.
5) Act Like You Are Pregnant
I cut all caffeine (also did this because of anxiety), stopped drinking, and started googling everything.
Before long, google started figuring out my pattern which was “Can I eat _____ while pregnant.”
FACT: Calm down. Just take each day as it comes because you don’t need to become a pregnancy expert overnight.
This is a HUGE one.
The following “signs” have happened this week.
- I received a call that my number one choice for sperm donor had finally become available and I was off the waiting list. Sign: This must mean that my IUI didn’t work.
- My Etsy packages did not arrive. Sign: This must mean that I am not pregnant.
- Two friends told me that they were pregnant this week. Sign: This must mean that pregnancy is somehow “in the air” and will happen.
FACT: Stop looking for signs. If there is supposed to be a sign, you shouldn’t have to go looking for it.
7) Fertility Clinic
I called the fertility clinic twice this week. What on earth? The first time I called to find out when I could start my next IUI and if I needed to take a break trying to take fertility meds.
The second time I called was because I was spotting. Please note that they said this could “mean anything.”
FACT: Nurses at the fertility clinic are BUSY. Just wait until your appointment to ask all of the questions.
Somehow I thought it would be best to cancel all of my plans and just be by myself. I didn’t know if I’d be anxious or sad.
FACT: Get outside and out of your head. On Monday night I reconnected with friends to watch the premiere of the Bachelorette (don’t judge) and had the best night in a LONG LONG time. Why are you hiding?
I read two books over the past two weeks – both psychological thrillers. They allowed me to escape my own world and forced me to solve a mystery.
I also become so invested in a variety of shows on Netflix.
Fact: “Watching You” by Lisa Jewell is great, “Bring Me Back” by B.A. Paris is not as great.
Wine Country, Dead to Me, Brene Brown’s Special, Amy Schumer’s Special, and the new Ted Bundy Movie are all great.
*Please note that these are not actual facts but to me, they are facts.
10) I am One Strong Badass
I have not had a panic attack over the past two weeks and have been able to sleep again at night. My anxiety has been A LOT to handle but I have somehow been able to make it through the past two weeks.
I was especially worried about how I’d feel over Mother’s Day and I made it through the day.
FACT: I am a badass and have the best friends and family members who have continuously sent me the sweetest messages. Everyone is so kind and wants the best for me. I am a super lucky woman.
So next week, my goal is to share the news with you. Please also know that only 10% – 20% of IUI’s are successful for women over 35. You will either hear really exciting news or will see a series of pictures of me drinking on patios in Toronto.
Thanks again for all of your support!