The Two Questions People Keep Asking

The beautiful flowers I received from “Mama Bear” and “Papa Bear” congratulating me on my pregnancy.

The past week may have been one of the best weeks of my life.  Getting to make happy phone calls and getting to post about such happy news felt incredible.

A lot of people cried.

Some screamed.

Some jumped up and down.

Some people said the most beautiful things.

A few people asked a really good question.

The first question that kept popping up was “are you sure you want to tell people right now?” 

It’s a great question and something that I debated for a long time. 

A lot of people wait for the three month mark before telling people they are pregnant. They want to keep things private until the risk of miscarriage drops.

In my situation, I really debated what to do because ideally I would wait the standard three months.  Then I wondered what people would think if I just ditched my blog and Instagram account for three months.  If I promised to be so open about trying to get pregnant, I felt I needed to be honest about the pregnancy as well.

So far, I have been feeling really great except for some cramps that I get about 1-3 times per day.  I’ve looked up “cramps” on trusty google and the article said that this is normal during the first couple months.  I did notice that the article went from “perfectly normal” to “ectopic pregnancy” so I am going to try to just read the first couple of paragraphs on articles on google for the next while.

The sweet pregnancy journal and book (that made me bawl my eyes out) was sent from my sister L and brother in law D.

The second most asked question of the week has to do with the IUI process and pregnancy.

A lot of people sent me direct messages on Instagram asking me the same question “do you have any tips for getting pregnant using IUI?”  The question usually followed with personal stories about how an individual or couple were trying to conceive and they wanted to know what I did “right” in order to get pregnant.

It made me feel really sad and then I recalled asking that same question to people with successful IUI’s (sperm inside the uterus) in the past.

Here’s the thing – there is no secret. I didn’t do anything “right.” If I knew how to give tips on having a successful IUI, I would give the tips to absolutely every person trying to conceive right now.  I don’t know why I was lucky this time.  If I knew how to get pregnant right away, I think I would have been pregnant during my marriage or pregnant during my first IUI.

The whole process is a complete gamble and it breaks my heart to think that people feel as though there is some secret out there or some steps that someone must take in order to ensure that they have a successful IUI.

Fertility is a difficult topic because you literally have no control.  Sometimes when I shared my news last week, I was very sensitive about how I shared the news with people that were trying to get pregnant.

It wasn’t too long ago that it felt like I was punched in the gut every time someone announced a wedding or a pregnancy.  Don’t get me wrong – I was so happy for them.  Yet these announcements are full of joy but also make you take a look inward to try and figure out your goals. Sometimes you just aren’t at the place in your life where you thought you’d be.  Sometimes you are still waiting for that marriage proposal or pregnancy announcement. Comparison really is the thief of joy.

Who knows what is to happen and the anxiety does not stop when you get engaged or married or even pregnant. Trust.

Yet for the past week and for the next couple of weeks, I am just going to keep staying positive and fully take in every single kind word or phrase said to me. 

Thank you for your well wishes and thank you so much for your questions.  Please know that I promise to stay as open as possible with all of you. Thanks for an amazing week and here’s to 39 more happy and healthy weeks ahead!

One thought on “The Two Questions People Keep Asking

  1. Hi Sarah
    Thinking about you a lot theses days and wishing you happiness and health. Keep glowing in the moment, I loved every minute I was pregnant!
    Love you

    Sent from my iPhone


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